Ever since I was a little girl, I was raised in a Baptist home. My mother made sure I was baptized at the age of twelve. When you get baptized, it means that you confess your love to Christ. When I was younger, I was always excited about going to church. My favorite gospel song to sing was “Still I Rise” by Yolanda Adams. My squeaky high pitch voice served as a melody for my mom every morning. I was very joyous about praising the Lord. At the time of my toddler days, he was my imaginary friend when I didn’t have one in sight. God was always there when I was scared of the boogie man. When I was young, God was my best friend.
When I got older, for some reason my love of God started to fall off. I didn’t understand this because I knew I was never old to believe in The Lord. I started to question was it worth praying every night? Was waking up every Sunday morning worth it all? I felt bad questioning my praise, worship, and love The Lord. When I was at my lowest point in my ninth grade year, my insecurities took a toll on me. It started to effect my relationships with family and friends but most importantly with God. But when I went through my struggles, God always came through with an answer. Although He was not there for me physically, he supported me spiritually, and that was stronger than any shoulder I could possibly cry on.
God has always found a way to answer my prayers, whether he answers it through words or actions, he teaches me that there is a lesson for each and everything that happens in my life. When something isn’t meant for me, I’ve learned through the grace of God to patient and continue to pray. For example, I didn’t know if I was going to have enough college funds to pay for room and board for spring semester. I packed all of my stuff on Monday night in preparation to move into my aunt’s house after I came back to FAMU from thanksgiving break. That same night, I got an email from the FAMU Scholarship house awarding me the scholarship, and a job interview when I returned back to Tallahassee. The first thing I remember yelling was “GOD IS GOOD!” That’s all I could say that whole night. It was two great opportunities given to me all at once. When I thought that there was no way out of my college struggle, God had an answer for me the whole time. I had to be patient and wait for the answer to come at the right time.
No matter how much I tried to stray away from God, he always finds a way to reel me back in. When life throws me obstacles, I know that God is always there. I can always count on him for anything. One thing I realized, God will give you an answer. It may not be an immediate one, but just know He will answer you in three different ways: He says YES, and gives you what you want, He says NO and gives you something better, or He says WAIT and gives you the best. Either way it goes, just remember to praise him for always gracing you with whatever he decides.
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